Summer makes me happy. 

but I did stupid terrible thing today.

It`s about with "A".  A is , so called, a social withdrawal.    A doesn`t think that A is a social withdrawal by Aseflf, or A knows, but A think "I am like a social withdrawal, but I`m different with other, I have a reason, brabrabara....".

A doesn`t have any social connection, doesn`t work outside,  doesn`t go out for fun with friends, A is in front of computer or TV most of the time,,,

why?
is it fun? A can kill the time by Aself. it`s comfortable time for A.
A doesn`t seem so crazy or weird person like who are reported on the TV. 

But sometimes, when I talk with A, I feel uncomfortable.  I like A, but sometime A irritates me. Sometimes or from somewhere, the conversation is going to be weird. hhh how can i say,,, not smooth.  A doesn`t have a lot of people to communicate, so A`s mind is so limited, it`s just A`s world????  I`m not a perfect, either at all.  I cannot say "I am NORMAL".  what is the Normal mean?!  My world is not a big, i think, but when you communicate or talk to somebody, we feel it`s comfortable, fun, or easy to talk or not.     If you feel positive way, you can make friends a lot, or if they feel your talking is nice, you`re gonna be popular, BUT if  you don`t like to speak with other, or the other doesn`t feel comfortable with you, you`re gonna be very hard to communicate with the world. 

Today I was irritated by her talking, and said like
"how come your talking is so annoying. I don`t wanna talk any more now. is it `coz you don`t have anyone who talk with you a lot?"

.........................................

I`m bad. really. I said the word that I shouldn`t have.  How come I couldn`t say different way... it`s because the words not for A, it`s just for me to get out of the annoying conversation.   I did hurt A, sure. A`s face were mad, A`s lips were trembling...

may be A knows A`s problem, but A cannot do anything.  A may hope to get out of the situation, but A cannot.  A cannot try even, it`s because A feels scary to get out to the world? I`m scare, too.  the difference between A and me is not a big. i`m not a rich, i`m not a great person at all, I don`t have a very good communication skill with other.  but I allways have a hope. I`m allways trying to be better. I`m allways searching fun for LIFE.   I hope A becomes more positive.  ohhhh i hate to hurt others.  it also hurts me.